Prayer is the key for a successful ministry.
I lead a discipleship group at my home every week and I know it is a big task given to each and every Christian in this world. But slowly this mission got diluted in my life.
Many times we take our ministries granted. And One of them is small groups. When I was given a chance to lead, I was extremely happy and thrilled. I said “I will make sure I am doing my job right and good”to myself. And I did it. Every week I prayed and prepared the notes with hunger and thirst. But slowly my hunger faded. I did just for the sake of doing it. There was no passion in me.
I had to give weekly report to my pastor and that became my driving force. I didn’t want to put myself down in front of other leaders. My motive towards the small group changed. It was just ME. Weeks went by and I noticed that instead of multiplying, my people started giving me reasons for not coming. Not one was genuine. I was so bitter and angry with people and started small lectures about commitment. Nothing was successful.
Finally a day came, where I was totally broken. I prepared my notes and was waiting for people to walk in.My phone starts vibrating and messages started popping.’I am not available’ with multiple reasons was the content. I felt so ignored. I went inside my room and cried and poured my heart to Jesus.
“Lord, you know my heart. I sacrificed my time preparing notes about your word. And look at the people whom you have given. They are not interested in your word. They are not listening to any of my words. How can they do this to a leader?”
“Are you a leader?” was the reply.
I was astonished to hear that question. What did He really mean by asking that question. Am I not?
“Lord, I am. Church leadership chose me!”
“Of course they did. It’s because I told them to. My question was not about the Tag given to you but it’s about your heart. To be much more clear, What are you doing for the given people?”
I was stuck. I didn’t know what and how to answer. I felt some kind of shame inside me which was indescribable. Yes! I failed God. I thought only about me And my position. I failed to be a shepherd. I missed the key.
I felt so miserable about my irresponsibility. I was so self focused. I never knew or taken initiative to know why they couldnt make it up for the group. I was so mean and selfish. That minute was not to focus on what i didn’t do but It was time to turn to His merciful arms. I knelt down and wept “SORRY Jesus for disappointing you”
Once again i cried out to Him and said “Lord, I am really sorry about what I was doing with my people. Please cleanse my heart and help me to be burdened for them. Holy Spirit, please come into me and give me an fresh anointing to lead and love my people. I want to be with my first love always. Amen”
I heard the bell rang once, twice then thrice. When I opened my room I saw my house was filled with people who said ‘I am not available’. I didn’t know the second chance was so soon.
I slowly went near everyone and hugged them. I saw myself seeing them with different eyes. Yes! I wore the glasses prescribed by Jesus with point ‘LOVE’ and I am believing it will never be removed from my eyes.
From the next day onwards, I started praying for each one of them Individually and their needs.I see them every week smiling in my home with their testimonies.
I am happy that I got my key back where I unlocked new relationships ordained with divine love.